A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
So I am not a broken heart. I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and...
-
Charlotte Eriksson
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-
Jeff Foxworthy
Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.
-
Terry Pratchett
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
-
W.C. Fields
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
-
Chelsea Handler
More Quotes By Winston S. Churchill
To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared...
A joke is a very serious thing.
This is not the end, this is not even the beginning of the end, this is just perhaps the end of the beginning.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.
